What a waste of money

Bebe, whose entire football career looks in danger of becoming a mildly diverting footnote to one of the more bizarre transfer deals in living memory, has ended his loan spell with Besiktas and returned to Manchester United, where…. well, who knows.

The Portuguese winger was a virtual unknown when he joined United in a £7.4m transfer from Vitoria Guimaraes in August 2010. Indeed, having represented his country at the Homeless World Cup, he was not so much a household name as a man in search of a house. Any house.

Doubtless Sir Alex Ferguson can call in a few favours and set up another loan deal, ideally overseas, preferably away from the intrusive gaze of the British press, who for all their obeisance to the wily old fox, can still smell a rat.

An early season cruciate ligament injury halted Bebe’s season at Besiktas, and when he eventually recovered he was banished to train away from the first-team after allegedly breaking a curfew.

United would prefer to sell him the 21-year-old should they receive a suitable offer. Their definition of ‘suitable’ is surprisingly broad: they’d even take Greek euros so desperate are they to see the back of a him.